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A Stock Broker Goes to Heaven

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the gates of Heaven.

Just ahead of him is a man dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter asks this man, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?”

He replies, “I’m Jim Cash, 30, stock broker from Noo Yawk City.”

Saint Peter looks through his list. He smiles and says to the stock broker, “Take this golden robe and silver wand and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Now it’s the priest’s turn.

He stands straight and proudly exclaims, “I am John Noble, 75, pastor at Saint Mary’s Church in New York for the last 45 years.”

Saint Peter consults his list again. He says to the priest, “Take this cotton robe and wooden wand and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

“Just a minute,” says the disturbed priest.

“That man was a young stock broker, who would have wreaked havoc with so many people’s lives. Yet he got a golden robe and silver wand.

“But I, a priest who has brought so many lives to order, only get a cotton robe and wooden wand? Isn’t this unfair?”

“Well, up here, we work purely by results,” says Saint Peter.

“While you preached, people slept. While he preached, they prayed.”

Moral of the story: While you might be living in hell seeing your stocks and mutual funds evaporate your savings, your broker might be paving his way to Heaven. 🙂

On a more serious note…

  • What has been your experience with your stock broker (or financial advisor)?
  • Is he trustworthy?
  • Is he driven by financial incentives or the incentive of helping you in making profitable investment decisions?

By the way, have you ever tried to answer these important questions earlier?

If not, do it right now! After all, it’s important that you know your broker.

Just a parting thought – Being a stock broker is an easy path to Heaven. If you do good, you will go to Heaven. If you do bad, like the above stock broker, you will still get an entry there. 🙂

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About the Author

Vishal Khandelwal is the founder of Safal Niveshak. He works with small investors to help them become smart and independent in their stock market investing decisions. He is a SEBI registered Research Analyst. Connect with Vishal on Twitter.


  1. This story is much funnier than the last one, we work purely on results, lol. I never had a financial adviser (except from a planner I parted within few days of taking him in). But I did get a call from my so-called relationship manager from my brokerage account but after testing his qualifications I denied their service.

  2. I too do not have the services of a stock broker, a few of them are my friends…..being a profession until there is a churn he will never make money.

  3. Dear Vishal,

    So far I came across only one financial advisor (Mr. Sailesh, Ex. PFN)who is ethical, trust worthy and dependable.

    All others whom I came across (infact they came to me) are worthless.


  4. Or maybe because he died early , a truck load of people money was saved from going into manhole called stockmarket…

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